To be part of an art show near Downtown in January.
Noticeably pregnant (in January).
Not nude.....normal stripper clothes.
Reply to email above or to kris_buckley@web.de
Dear Kris,
Hi, my name is Mandy Knockup and I am a pregnant stripper. I am about 8 months along with twins so my tummy is extra big and I have a ton of stretch marks all over my boobies, belly, and butt. Most of my current clientele are pretty fetishy and enjoy multiple stretch marks. My babies kick sometimes too during my act and my audience can see clearly when they kick hard (kinda like that movie "Alien"). The tips are AMAZING when that happens. I am really hoping my water breaks on stage because it would be the BEST TIP NIGHT EVER! I am not sure what you mean by "normal stripper clothes" because usually I am totally nude during my act but I'm sure I can rustle up a couple of leather G-strings or something if that's what you require. I am sooo glad I ran across your ad! As you can imagine, stripper work is hard to come by when you're pregnant but with the right clientele, it's bank! Looking forward to hearing from you!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
SHADY AD FOR MODELS
Models
Submit bio, a photography, your availability in general terms but accurate terms, and your level of responsibility when it comes to modeling.
Dear Tool Who Posted This Ad,
I am an aspiring model and your ad intrigued me. I don't currently have "a photography" at this time but am open to having a photography taken and am very free-spirited (wink, wink). I am generally available seven days a week/24 hours per day but accurately only on Tuesdays at 7pm. As for my level of responsibility: I don't model and drive, I catwalk unto others as I would have them catwalk unto me, and I do not do porn videos for free (but for a discounted rate). I am sooo excited at the prospect of being hired for this very clear and concise modeling job opportunity and my goal is to receive world-wide exposure from working for you! Thanks again Craigslist for making all my dreams a reality!
Submit bio, a photography, your availability in general terms but accurate terms, and your level of responsibility when it comes to modeling.
Dear Tool Who Posted This Ad,
I am an aspiring model and your ad intrigued me. I don't currently have "a photography" at this time but am open to having a photography taken and am very free-spirited (wink, wink). I am generally available seven days a week/24 hours per day but accurately only on Tuesdays at 7pm. As for my level of responsibility: I don't model and drive, I catwalk unto others as I would have them catwalk unto me, and I do not do porn videos for free (but for a discounted rate). I am sooo excited at the prospect of being hired for this very clear and concise modeling job opportunity and my goal is to receive world-wide exposure from working for you! Thanks again Craigslist for making all my dreams a reality!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Casting Call - ARMPIT MODELS!
Casting Call - younger and older female armpit models
Over 18 up to 50. Be sexy, friendly, open minded and ready to work. Send your pictures and number ASAP. only need two models right now. No sex. Start at $1,500 per week. Details when you are called back.
Mmmm...there's nothing like a good ARMPIT MODEL to get me going. They didn't say whether or not they wanted hair but I don't think there's anything better on a female than a couple of big puffs of black armpit fuzz. OH YEAH! Ladies: this is your BIG BREAK! Spielberg is a total armpit freak so you must submit to this worthy project right away. I will have my phone glued to my hand for the rest of the week in anticipation of a call back. My armpits are sexy.
Over 18 up to 50. Be sexy, friendly, open minded and ready to work. Send your pictures and number ASAP. only need two models right now. No sex. Start at $1,500 per week. Details when you are called back.
Mmmm...there's nothing like a good ARMPIT MODEL to get me going. They didn't say whether or not they wanted hair but I don't think there's anything better on a female than a couple of big puffs of black armpit fuzz. OH YEAH! Ladies: this is your BIG BREAK! Spielberg is a total armpit freak so you must submit to this worthy project right away. I will have my phone glued to my hand for the rest of the week in anticipation of a call back. My armpits are sexy.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Do you like to use Tweezers to Pluck Hair? $15/hr
Professional man needs person that is good with tweezers.
Must be patient and detailed oriented.
Pulling out hair root. Not just break off hair.
This is for grey head hair.
continuous basis
Must be patient and detailed oriented.
Flexible on Time and Place
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OH YES! SIGN ME UP!
Must be patient and detailed oriented.
Pulling out hair root. Not just break off hair.
This is for grey head hair.
continuous basis
Must be patient and detailed oriented.
Flexible on Time and Place
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OH YES! SIGN ME UP!
Monday, September 29, 2008
SEEKING WOMAN WITH LARGE LACTATING BREASTS
Seeking a woman with large lactating breasts for a very brief shoot for a graduate student short film project. The shot will not include your face and will be used briefly during one of the montage sequences in the film described below.
The shoot is this Saturday, October 4th.
This is a short student film (5 minutes) shot on the HD Sony XDCAM EX1. It is an experimental film with an abstracted storyline about maternal betrayal. There is no synch sound in this film, but will include exaggerated sound effects and possible foley. Acting will be primarily of a physical movement nature so actors with stage movement skills and experience are ideal.
The storyline, albeit an abstracted one, is about a reclusive woman/hag/witch character who lives, haunted by her fears and ghosts from the past, with a son/jester character. She controls him fiercely and exploits his naive trust as entertainment and escape from her demons. Ultimately, he discovers a secret that she tries to take from him, resulting in her own demise and his escape.
I can offer copy and credit. Please email me if interested so we can discuss the project further. Thank you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Student Filmmakers,
Awww... you are so naive. Don't you think a new mother with large lactating breasts has enough to do raising a newborn baby? Do you actually think you will find a woman to do this without pay for your sad silly student film? My gosh, what has this world come to? I love the phrase "experimental film." This leaves a lot of room for imagination. Just think of what you can do with this faceless drippy boobed lady! That must be very exciting for your silly little pea brains! The really sad thing is, since this is Los Angeles there is probably some pathetic loser girl who is still desperate to "make it" as an actress and will probably volunteer for this meaningless piece of shit film even though it will not advance her career in the least. Ah... I can just picture her email submission now with an attached picture of her big huge leaky tits. Don't you love Hollywood? In the meantime, you boys should be ashamed of yourselves! You disgusting little pervs. And I do mean "little."
The shoot is this Saturday, October 4th.
This is a short student film (5 minutes) shot on the HD Sony XDCAM EX1. It is an experimental film with an abstracted storyline about maternal betrayal. There is no synch sound in this film, but will include exaggerated sound effects and possible foley. Acting will be primarily of a physical movement nature so actors with stage movement skills and experience are ideal.
The storyline, albeit an abstracted one, is about a reclusive woman/hag/witch character who lives, haunted by her fears and ghosts from the past, with a son/jester character. She controls him fiercely and exploits his naive trust as entertainment and escape from her demons. Ultimately, he discovers a secret that she tries to take from him, resulting in her own demise and his escape.
I can offer copy and credit. Please email me if interested so we can discuss the project further. Thank you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Student Filmmakers,
Awww... you are so naive. Don't you think a new mother with large lactating breasts has enough to do raising a newborn baby? Do you actually think you will find a woman to do this without pay for your sad silly student film? My gosh, what has this world come to? I love the phrase "experimental film." This leaves a lot of room for imagination. Just think of what you can do with this faceless drippy boobed lady! That must be very exciting for your silly little pea brains! The really sad thing is, since this is Los Angeles there is probably some pathetic loser girl who is still desperate to "make it" as an actress and will probably volunteer for this meaningless piece of shit film even though it will not advance her career in the least. Ah... I can just picture her email submission now with an attached picture of her big huge leaky tits. Don't you love Hollywood? In the meantime, you boys should be ashamed of yourselves! You disgusting little pervs. And I do mean "little."
Monday, July 28, 2008
There's always a catch ladies! Beware!
I'm a pro songwriter/producer out here in L.A. and I have a lead from a major Japanese music company looking to sign a hot new female artist. They're looking to market the artist in the Asian and European markets. You might not know this, but the Asian and European music markets are bigger than the American market, and they're a lot more accepting of new artists, especially Americans. So, the idea is to make the artist a star in Asia and Europe, then bring them over to the U.S. and try to make them big here.
I'm looking to find the female artist, to develop, produce and write to showcase to this company. The right girl has to be sexy, willing to dress like a Pussycat Doll, great singer, no hang-ups with boyfriends or anything (will probably have to travel out of the country a great deal). I usually charge $2500 per track, but would like to do an exchange of service deal where I produce for free in exchange for cooking, massages, etc.
Please respond with pictures, mp3's if possible, myspace pages, etc. and I'll tell you a lot more about who I am and what I've done. Please respond to songwritingdude@hotmail.com
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Creepy Songwriting Dude,
Now I know this is Los Angeles and there is a crop of girls just waiting to be plucked and peeled by your perverted hands in exchange for the chance of pop star fame and glory so what's with the innuendos? Why don't you just be up front about your disgusting pervertedness and let these hot slutty Pussycat-like girls know what you really want? "Cooking?" "Massages?" Homey don't play dat! Of course you make it look like you are doing these potential hookers a huge favor because you usually charge $2500 per track, BUT...for you my naked slutty friends, I will cut you a deal. Some young fresh-off-the-bus gals may think hmmm...Cooking? Massages? Doesn't seem so bad but then your creeeepy intentions will eventually pop to the surface and pulverize their hopes and dreams of becoming a Japanese superstar and cause them to distrust any future "producers."
Now I would like to direct your attention to a section on Craigslist called "Erotic Services." Yes these gals may not be willing to exchange their services for your so-called production services but they are ripe and ready to jump into your bug-infested crotch and do the nasty for sometimes as little as $100 per hour! So please PLEASE stay out of Talent Gigs and hire your prostitutes elsewhere. Do not attempt to dirty up an innocent girl you sick piece of shit.
I'm looking to find the female artist, to develop, produce and write to showcase to this company. The right girl has to be sexy, willing to dress like a Pussycat Doll, great singer, no hang-ups with boyfriends or anything (will probably have to travel out of the country a great deal). I usually charge $2500 per track, but would like to do an exchange of service deal where I produce for free in exchange for cooking, massages, etc.
Please respond with pictures, mp3's if possible, myspace pages, etc. and I'll tell you a lot more about who I am and what I've done. Please respond to songwritingdude@hotmail.com
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Creepy Songwriting Dude,
Now I know this is Los Angeles and there is a crop of girls just waiting to be plucked and peeled by your perverted hands in exchange for the chance of pop star fame and glory so what's with the innuendos? Why don't you just be up front about your disgusting pervertedness and let these hot slutty Pussycat-like girls know what you really want? "Cooking?" "Massages?" Homey don't play dat! Of course you make it look like you are doing these potential hookers a huge favor because you usually charge $2500 per track, BUT...for you my naked slutty friends, I will cut you a deal. Some young fresh-off-the-bus gals may think hmmm...Cooking? Massages? Doesn't seem so bad but then your creeeepy intentions will eventually pop to the surface and pulverize their hopes and dreams of becoming a Japanese superstar and cause them to distrust any future "producers."
Now I would like to direct your attention to a section on Craigslist called "Erotic Services." Yes these gals may not be willing to exchange their services for your so-called production services but they are ripe and ready to jump into your bug-infested crotch and do the nasty for sometimes as little as $100 per hour! So please PLEASE stay out of Talent Gigs and hire your prostitutes elsewhere. Do not attempt to dirty up an innocent girl you sick piece of shit.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Your FEET can be famous in this town! Sick!
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